A ton of bricks.
Who am I if not confident, carefree, fearless, strong? What’s left of me when I’m destroyed, depressed, delicate, and down?
Numbers, numbers, numbers, numbers.
Will they like this, will they hear this, will they see this, will they want this.
Will I still be who I am without…them?
A career built upon algorithms, and themes, and clicks, and referrals, and networks, and connections, and sharing, and hashtags.
What’s left of me when I’m no longer the thing everyone wants to see? Who am I when I’m nothing to them?
Log in, hit refresh, scroll, scroll, scroll. Analytics, core audience, target demographic, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Do they see me? Do they hear me? Do they know me? Do they love me?
Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Stop. Wait. This isn’t what I wanted. Not the end goal. Not the final say. Not the ultimate. Not the vision.
Words. Stories. Heart. Spirit. Lessons. Wisdom. Experiences. Action.
It was never supposed to be about the numbers. It was supposed to be about the people. Where did I lose it, wait, somewhere along the way, when did I lose my pace, the path, the eyes fixed on the prize…
I lost it somewhere. Sometime. Somehow.
It wasn’t supposed to be like…this. I don’t want it to feel like…this.
What’s left of me…inside of this.
What’s left of me if I let go of this.
What’s left of me…now?