It wasn't what I was looking for. I'd been eyeing a used Chrysler Pacifica, but when we stopped by the dealership the Pacifica wasn't available. The salesman, an elderly gentleman with a slight lean on his right leg and a jaunty sort of walk, grunted that there was something similar on their back lot and… Continue reading A Goodbye To A Bad Car
I remember writing frantic Facebook posts about the big things happening or potentially happening, hoping that by putting words to these dreams of bigger, greater things they might somehow become more real than layers of code splayed across my cell phone screen. Inevitably those flights of fancy and delusions of grandeur never materialized out of… Continue reading A Do Nothing B*tch
I never speed. I'm religiously faithful to speeding limits. I keep my hands at ten and two and scan the horizon for traffic signs and police. I'm cautious. When I test drove a sports car the salesman told me to open her up and see what she could do. I opted not to and instead… Continue reading The Space She Held
The 30th and 31st years were hard. A dear family member lost to suicide. My mother lost to cancer. A baby lost to miscarriage. And a father lost to old age. Three funerals, one casket, two large urns, one small. One family caught in the middle, surrounded by heartbreak, tear stained cheeks because we can't… Continue reading My 32nd Year
Layers of makeup can't hide the pain of loss.
When grief takes on the form of a gnawing ache, rather than a sharp, stabbing pain.
Dear Mom, Yesterday you would be 58 years old. Yesterday I'd have called you first thing in the morning, trying to be one of the first people to sing you, "Happy Birthday". Your granddaughter and son-in-law would have joined us. You'd have laughed and thanked us. Yesterday I'd have taken you out to eat at… Continue reading I Have To Write Something For Her Birthday
Revisiting Joni Mitchell's music and trying to survive the holidays.
I ponder the effect that this year will have on my daughter.
Contemplating the many changes in my life and the changes yet to come.